Not funny. I didn’t laugh. Your joke is so bad I would have preferred the joke went over my head and you gave up re-telling it. To be honest, this is a horrid attempt at trying to get a laugh out of me. Not a chuckle, not a hehe, not even a subtle burst of air from my esophagus. Science says that before you laugh, your brain preps your face muscles, but I didn't even feel the slightest twitch. 0/10. This joke is so bad, I cannot believe anyone legally allowed you to be creative at all. The amount of brain power you must have put into that joke has the potential to power every house on Earth. Get a personality and learn how to make jokes. Read a book. I'm not saying this to be funny. I genuinely mean it. This is just bottom-barrel embarrassment at comedy. You've single-handedly killed humor and every comedic act on the planet. I'm so disappointed that society has failed as a whole in being able to teach you how to be funny. Honestly, if I put in all my power and time to try and make your joke funny, it would require Einstein himself to build a device to strap me into so I could be connected to the energy of a billion stars to do it. And even then, all that joke would get from people is a subtle scoff. You’re lucky I still have the slightest empathy for you after telling that joke; otherwise, I would have committed every war crime in the book just to prevent you from attempting any humor ever again. We should put that joke in textbooks so future generations can be wary of becoming such an absolute comedic failure. I’m disappointed, hurt, and outright offended that my precious time has been wasted in my brain understanding that joke. In the time that took, I was planning on helping kids who have been orphaned. But because of that, you’ve wasted my time explaining the obscene integrity of your terrible attempt at comedy. Now those kids are suffering without meals, and there’s nobody to blame but you. I hope you’re happy with what you have done, and I truly hope you can move on and learn from this piss-poor attempt.

Honestly, it's astonishing that someone could conjure up such an abomination of humor and think it fit to unleash it upon the world. There are so many things you could have done instead of coming up with that "joke." For instance, you could have researched how to be genuinely funny, taken a comedy class, or even just read a few jokes from a children's book of humor. But no, you chose to burden us with something that doesn't even qualify as a joke. It's as if you went out of your way to craft something so devoid of humor that it would cause people to reconsider what they ever found funny in the first place.

This joke is so atrocious that it could be used as a tool of torture. Imagine a scenario where world peace was on the line, and the deciding factor was the quality of your joke. You would have single-handedly doomed us all to eternal conflict. I am convinced that future historians will look back on this moment as the point where comedy officially died. They will write about how one person's misguided attempt at humor led to the downfall of human mirth.

I genuinely fear for any children who might be exposed to your sense of humor. Imagine a classroom where kids are learning about comedy and they are shown your joke as an example of what not to do. It would likely scar them for life, turning them away from the joy of laughter forever. Instead of growing up with fond memories of funny stories and jokes, they would remember the day their innocence was shattered by your catastrophic attempt at humor.

I can’t help but wonder what you were thinking when you came up with this joke. Did you actually believe it would elicit laughter? Were you under the impression that you had stumbled upon some hidden gem of comedy? I assure you, this joke is no diamond in the rough; it’s more akin to a lump of coal that somehow made its way into a crown jewel collection.

You have managed to achieve something remarkable in its own right: you have created a joke so unfunny that it has the power to drain joy from a room. If ever there was a need for an anti-humor device, your joke would be the perfect candidate. People would gather around, hear your joke, and leave with their spirits crushed and their laughter extinguished.

As I sit here, contemplating the sheer magnitude of your comedic failure, I am left with only one conclusion: you must take this as a learning experience. Reflect on what went wrong—every single aspect of it—and vow to never repeat such an egregious mistake. Perhaps then, and only then, can you start on the long road to redemption in the world of humor.

In closing, I hope you realize the gravity of what you’ve done. The orphaned children you could have helped, the war crimes you nearly provoked, the textbooks that will now include your joke as a cautionary tale—all these things weigh heavily on your shoulders. Take this to heart, and strive to never inflict such a travesty upon the world again.